Angie Langseth-Bostwick

Mistakes as Opportunities

Fri, 13 Apr 2012 00:00:00 +0000

Mistakes as Positive Catalyst for Change

Most people have some level of fear of failure. Most people feel good about themselves when they are successful and don’t feel very positive when they fail. So the natural thing to do would be to avoid those unsavory feelings that go along with failure. But what does this manifest? Less risk and less action because people are afraid to fail. So, people give up going for their dreams or put off trying new things. Fear of failure is paralyzing and causes people to not seek greatness. How sad is this?

So you failed so what? We all do it. We are human after all right? So we may as well accept that failure is a part of life. So instead of letting it get us down and depressed. Let’s face it and decide how we are going to move on from here. One way is to interpret this setback as an opportunity to reflect, contemplate change and take action. This is growth.

So instead of trying to run away from the feelings associated with failure by avoiding in some way, take time to reflect on what happened. Why did you fail? What went wrong? Evaluate your actions and decide what could have been altered to meet success. Now you have information. Next, make a plan to try again armed with new information. Notice how it goes this time. Probably better right? You have improved and you did not let fear of failure stop you. This is growth and this is success! Congratulations!

Angie Langseth-Bostwick, MA, LMHC

Parent Self-Care

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 18:54:00 +0000

It is so imperative for parents with hectic schedules that include work, children's activities and family time to take time out for themselves. It is also extremely important to not allow such feelings as guilt to get in the way of doing things for yourselves. After all, how can you be expected to care for little people when you are feeling stressed out and run down? Beleive me your kids will notice when you take time for yourself and feel happier. This will make them feel happier too.

Some ways you can take time out for you:

Go shopping/window shopping alone
Go out to lunch with a friend or significant other
Go for a walk alone or with a friend
Take a bath
Go to the gym
Have a date night with a significant other
Take advatage of local community events like Parents Night Out
Go out with friends once per month
Get a massage
Join an athletic team
Volunteer or get involved with your community
Take a class

Adoption Issues

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 22:16:00 +0000

Adoption Issues

Loss- Fear of ultimate abandonment. Children may worry they will be taken or given away Loss of genetic connection to adoptive family. Adoptive parents may feel loss of this genetic connection with their adopted child. Adoptive parents may also have grief issues related to infertility

Rejection- Personalize the fact that the he/she was given away. Issues of self-esteem

Guilt/Shame- Shame about being different. Feel deserving of negative experiences.

Grief- Grieve loss of birth parents. May grieve the fact that she/he does not fit in with adoptive family

Identity- Not having information about or access to birth family impedes integration of self

Intimacy- Fear of getting close to others lest repeats the chance of reenacting earlier loss

Created by Angie Bostwick, MA, LMHC 2007

Talking to your Child about Adopton; Do's and Dont's

Thu, 08 Oct 2009 19:42:00 +0000

Do’s and Don’ts in Talking To Your Child About Adoption

 Do initiate conversations about your child’s birth family

 Don’t ignore comments your child makes about birth family or previous caregivers

 Do help your child grieve the loss of birth parents and previous caregivers

 Don’t put pressure on the child by showing negative emotion while discussing birth family

 Do share as much information as you can about your child’s conception, birth and family history

 Don’t keep secrets about your child’s history or family and never withhold from a child his/her adoptee status

 Do affirm, affirm, and affirm your child’s existence by telling him/her how important he/she is. Encourage strengths and abilities

 Don’t automatically change your child’s name without consideration of how this may affect him/her

 Do try to preserve part of the child’s name if possible and let older children be involved in decisions about names

 Don’t expect your child to get over being adopted. It’s a lifelong process

 Do acknowledge and value your child’s differences as well as similarities to you and other family members

 Don’t say your child is exactly like you

 Do tell your child his/her adoption story and share other positive childhood memories

 Don’t tell everyone your child is adopted without their consent

 Do help your child prepare to answer other’s questions about his/her adoption

 Don’t assume your child will always be excited and happy on holidays

 Do acknowledge and support your child’s mixed feelings on birth days and other holidays as they may be thinking about birth family

 Do acknowledge your child’s fear of being given away or taken and assure him/her this will never happen

Created by Angie Langseth-Bostwick, MA, LMHC 2007